Colour it in

Weellll, first year is over, I must say it was filled with all kinds of excitement I never anticipated. Mike sent me this picture recently of the house which he found on a news website.... I guess to remind me of the good times haha. Despite the strangeness and frustrations of living at 315 Josephine was an experience I will never forget, and one that people find hard to believe.

I moved all my stuff into my new house (which is Michelle's old house)  this past Monday, it only took a few trips with the handy dandy mini-van. Then one last frustrating conversation with the old crazy landlord over what to do with the keys to the old house, one more encounter with curry smelling Mheran (Moron) Butt, the drunken Jim, and body builder Mike of whom I feel I will actually miss, he told me he was going to get his pec fixed in TO and that I should visit  him in the hospital haha I doubt that will happen. Anywaysss, that's the end to the stories from this house. Now I'm just at home? I think I call it home to appease my parents...doing odd jobs and twiddling my thumbs... yaayyyy. 

I'm procrastinating....lots.

Recently I've discovered how much of a boozer Jim really is. During the day Jim often comes to the house to pick up stuff and complete other errands. Often these errands include grabbing a quick beer from the fridge, which has happened as early as 9:30/10ish in the morning!  However, I guess to save time, Jim has stored some of his beer in his truck, the other day I heard his truck back in (he always backs in...always) Jim got out, grabbed some stuff from behind the house, put it in his truck, grabbed and open beer from the back of the truck, chug half of it, and put the beer bottle back into his truck and then drove away.  Then today, at two separate times, I saw him pull into the driveway, get out, do some stuff, reach behind the passenger seat, pull out an open beer, take a swig, put it back, and drive away. Drinking and driving?

Ya know what's funny?  How dramatic and sensitive guys can be. Especially the guys in this house. This week has not been good. Again, I politely asked Miran and Jim to not converse in the kitchen at 2-4 AM in the morning. It is just not necessary, especially when they talk about the SAME THINGS every, single, night. Example of conversation, "You're racist, you're racist, no he's racist, no Femi was racist, you're brown, you're white, Lance is racist (Lance is apparently the ghost of the house).  In my head I'm thinking "you are BOTH racist we've established this on numerous occasions, now shuttt upppp".  Yeah.   Asking them to be quiet is met with " -insert multiple swear words here-" and they act like you just took away their favourite past time.

And then Mike......oh my goodnessssss, he seems to think that I should ALWAYS want to do something with him when he asks.  For example, Mike: Wanna come to shoppers? Me: no, sorry I don't need anything. Mike: (looks all offended) c'mon don't bail on me. Me: Wait what? I never said I would go in the first place....

OR  Tonight
Mike: Tell me when you are up for making cheesecake
Me: Sorry, I'm studying and I don't think I can do that till after exams.
Mike: It's impossible to study that long blah blah blah, (swear words at me).  *Walks upstairs all puffy*
Me: Okay Mr. "I only have 2 exams. "


OH best part is when my forever missing landlord who NEVER shows up when he says he will comes at the end of the month for rent and acts like it's MY fault that he hasn't been payed......

BLAAAHH why are people sooo stupiddd??? I actually hate it here, like today I walked into the driveway and actually said "I hate this house".

I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE OUT.

Recently Miran and Mike have enacted a bad habit of not locking the front door at night, and Jim really hates it, so he told me that if he heard the door one night he would check to see if it was locked and if not he would lock it.  Mike just left and didn't lock the door, and all I heard was Jim opening his door, the *click* of the lock and Jim scurrying into his room. Mike is locked out. hahahaha!

The past three days at around 4- 5 AM Jim has set off the fire alarm while cooking. Even though it is frustrating, it has been kind of funny to wake up and hear him swear about it and scramble to take the alarms down.  Jim, in the past, has bragged about how quiet he is in the morning (he really isn't but if I nod while he brags he appears really proud...so I'll let him keep thinking that...).  The fire alarms going off really taints what he as made to be his reputation of being super quiet. He blames the fire alarms going off because of food stuck to the bottom of the stove that smokes, so I just found him on his hands and knees doing all he can to clean the bottom of the stove. It's really funny, because he is sooo determined to fix the cause of his reputation being tainted.

"Every once in a while I get a sudden fear over how little I actually know about bears."


Mike said this to me and then left.




?

Me: Have you read The Hunger Games?
Mike: No, I'm not a girl.
Me: Wha? oohh, you mean being all obsessed with it? I guess so.... I haven't read it either..
Mike: I assumed you wouldn't have... you don't really act like a girl.
Me: hey! is that meant as a good thing or bad thing?
Mike: No judgment intended, I'm just saying, out of the many things you do, you play sports, you have a fishing license, you're in history and one of your favourite movies is braveheart.... on top of all that you play Age of Empires.
Me:..... yeah... I guess I see where you are going with this.

I'm not sure if this is a good reputation or a bad one.. hahaha
 and then he showed me one of his twitter posts he had written about me.... "Just caught my guitar-playing roommate playing Age of Empires on her study break. Guys, get in line. Seriously"...


 .... Not really sure how I feel about this...

This is garlic hanging near the front door. You might think it is to ward off Vampires, it's not. My tipsy roommate hung it up to ward off welfare people whom our landlord keeps trying to move into the empty rooms in our house. 

....It might work....haha

Just a few minutes ago I heard knocking at the front door.
I opened the door to a woman in her pajamas whom I have never seen before, and she asks, "Do you have a frying pan I can borrow?... I need to cook a hunk of meat for a shepherds pie."

Me: "uuhhh, no??...sorry..."
Woman: "sh--, okay, bye."

Me: *close door....pause for a second in utter confusion...*

A Gandhi to be?

Mike is in one of my classes in which we read a book on Gandhi and Churchill.  Mike is obsessed with Indian culture, food.... and women haha!  And so He took quite an interest in the book. As result, I think he is trying to become like Gandhi.  For instance, last week we were going to go grocery shopping together, and I texted him asking if he was ready, he replied, "Inshalla. Was taking a ritual bath. Ready in 10”.    That's not all,  he also told me that he would start sleeping on the floor, meditating, and changing his diet.  Now, his change in diet is also interesting because normally he has to eat a TON of food because he body builds.

However, he broke his boob. I mean his pectoral muscle... but when he told me this, I immediately thought in my head, "He broke his boob.... ahahaha", and he keeps referring to it as his disfigured boob. Funny right? However, Mike is actually quite sensitive and tearing apart this muscle has prevented him from working out, making him quite a sad sad man.   Anyhooww,  the upside to this event, as he sees it, is that he can now have a flexible diet. Which means that he randomly decides to fast, as well as eat only figs, raisins, and nuts.  At times, it is actually a really awkward situation, because he has asked me to saran wrap ice to his chest... This involved him holding an ice pack in place while I wrap saran around his body... I have done this 3 times and it has not become at all less awkward.......

Just another strange story, among a couple others I have yet to post.  

This house is raining on me.

Literally.

When I returned to this house in January, the first day water was leaking from the ceiling into my room. Where was this water coming from? The washroom, upstairs. More specifically the toilet.... It didn't do that much damage to my room since the water only dropped on the floor and a bowl could easily catch the water. As Jim repaired the said toilet the water stopped and I thought all was well.  Untilll, today. when water starts dripping again. The only problem is that since that day in January, I have rearranged my room. My bed is directly under the said leak. fanflippentastic.

I feel like all I do is complain on this blog.... I don't really mean to. I just don't know how all these things happen in one house.

Currently, Jim is sitting in his truck, in the driveway, with opera music blaring. Just sitting there.  He's been there for about a half hour now.

...on the topic of Jim, here's some classic quotes.

 “I put a new shower head on in the shower..... it shoots out like Niagara falls.

"Seriously" 

"You're racist"

“It’s cause he’s black” 

“ don’t be shell shocked, I’m cooking”

On the subject of school " School is just a hallway, a hallway of many hallways, you just got to walk through them......Seriously."

My heart will not go on

Currently I'm listening to Celine Dion "My heart will go on". Not by choice.  I have the privilege of my room being directly above Anthony's room in the basement.  This morning at around 11:40 AM till 12:30 PM he has been singing... and by singing I mean he has been belting out lyrics to songs. I think he sang my heart will go on twice in that entire time period. I have been home since 2:30 and he is still singing "My heart will go on". I fear that if he continues for a longer period of time MY heart will not go on.

WHY?

Why must someone speak in their native tongue on the phone very loudly at 4 AM in the morning?!
Why must someone then cook bacon at 5 AM in the morning?
Why must someone then start their truck engine about 5 times in a row at 6 AM?! (did it break? or do you just like hear the engine start? does that make you happy?!?)


I am not happy. I am tireddd.

Rant finished.

I think the washer and dryer in this house are possessed.
For example, today I went to do some laundry, only to walk downstairs and find the dryer on and running with the door open without any clothes in it..... I asked a couple people in the house if there were doing laundry but they weren't/hadn't. The dryer's door was open and it was running...... I feel like this should not happen.

The washer is fine when putting clothes in, setting the temp, level of water etc. After the cycle is over however, the knobs on the dryer have somehow changed to a different temperature and level of water.... I asked anyone if they had touched the washer... Everyone denied it, and then Mike said that the same thing had been happening to him!   It's just too strange.

We decided that the washer situation has to be Anthony (the guy living in the basement). Although he denies touching the washer, we think he is lying because he probably doesn't like the horrendous noises the washer makes and is a "techno- tard" (he didn't know how to work the toaster....) and he just turns the knobs to try and turn the washer off.

I feel like we are accusing him.... buutttt I'm pretty sure it's him.

Introducing, Mike aka Body Builder Mike aka Model Mike

Mike is my friendo here at the house. He is relatively normal and pretty funny. He is very intrigued by all sorts of things, especially different religions, so far I think he has mentioned that he is into Islam, Hinduism, and Buddism, although he did come to Church with me which was a very interesting occasion. The questions he came up with!  Anyways, Mike is pretty much a health nut, for example he has a cupboard FULL of supplements, protein powder, vitamins and other weird substances.  The other day I walked out of my room to find him with with his mouth full of something... I asked him what was in his mouth and he typed up on his phone “explain later, not crazy”... he told me later that he had a mouth full of  olive oil. He claimed that if you keep olive oil in your mouth for 20 min. it detoxes the veins under your tongue.  He models at the art studio, when he told me that he did that I didn't know what to say and was just silent to which he responded with a laugh that I shouldn't pass my Christian judgment on him hahaha.  Recently he has been heart broken by some girl and keeps telling me about her. Which is fine, but I've never seen a guy so distraught lol.  Now he just texted me "I ate so much I can't move or get dressed".  Another quote from him is, "If I were darkskinned and wore a burka (the ones that cover your whole body), I could pass off as a woman." Silly Mike haha. 

Project Marvel

When I thought moving away from home and experiencing first year of university would be an adventure, I never thought it would be quite the adventure it has been.  The house I have been living at in Windsor was a last minute find by my Mum. Upon moving in I convinced myself it would be fine, since there was only Mike and Jim here and they are relatively normal and the “troublemakers” were kicked out a few days after I had moved in.  However, this house has continually been interesting, if interesting is even the right word for it...

            The first few months of last semester included instances that only contributed to the sketchiness of this house. Then on the 13’th of December, a Tuesday, I remember that because I had just had 4 exams that weekend and Tuesday was the first day I could actually sleep in a little. At around 5 Am, I woke up to a very loud BANG and CRASH. I groaned and rolled over debating whether to investigate. I thought of two possibilities for the noise.  Either it was a robbery or B. It was someone being VERY loud at an unearthly hour....something that is quite common and frustrating.  I thought to myself “don’t be stupid, it’s not a burglary, go yell at whoever is out there”. So I stumbled out of bed barely awake and opened my door.  Standing directly in front of me was a fully armoured man, with about 4 others behind him pointing guns and flashlights at me yelling “Police! Show your hands!!”  I FROZE. I think I uttered something like “really?” and then they took me by one arm and had me stand against the counter with my arms and legs spread. I then started crying. I was actually terrified. I justify this by the fact that I had just woken up anddd I had no clue whatsoever about what was going on. The Police asked if I had any weapons or drugs, or anything like that, which of course I didn’t/ don’t. They took a look in my room and then asked for my name and said, “ It’s alright we are here for someone else”. All the while there were other fully armoured tactical team streaming through the house and going upstairs. They had me sit in the kitchen for like 5 minutes asking me how many rooms there were and who lived there and such, all information that I’m pretty sure they already knew. They then said I could sit in my bedroom with the light on and door open. All the while I’m crying and shaking like branch. After about 15 minutes, two lady cops came to my door, one said “Are you crying?” in a tone that basically meant “WHY are you crying”, the other lady was nicer and as I explained that I had just woken up and had no idea what was going on. She asked me for some information and eventually said that I could close my door and go back to sleep..sleep? I looked out the window and saw that they were taking away Carmen (a really sketchy welfare guy that was living upstairs).

            I knew I had to call someone, but I thought that if I called my mum it might make it worse since it was that early in the morning and she would just be really upset. Sooo, I called wonderful Brooke because I know she awakes at unearthly early hours in the morning ;). I was able to calm down and went to sleep for about an hour. When I woke up I walked out of my door to see the very man they had just arrested standing in my kitchen! He turned around and said, “don’t worry, I would never hurt you.”...... What does that even mean?!   I was able to leave my house and spent the day/ night at Michelle’s house and then the remainder of the week and the Belanger’s house, of which I am so, so, so  grateful for :D :D.

Here is the Windsor Star's news report on "Project Marvel", http://www.windsorstar.com/news/Three+Windsor+addresses+raided+part+cross+Canada+organized+crime+investigation/5852488/story.html